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Friday 28 September 2012

It's been a very long time, but I have learnt a lot..

So I am just over 2 years into my journey since I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. It's been a very, very long road which I might go into at a later date but first of all I want to write here some of the things I have learnt so far about being a BPD sufferer.

1. Some of the most popular books can be more destructive than good.

So like many people when I was first diagnosed, I was recommended some books that are seen as the 'classic' reads for you and your newbie status in diagnosis. Although I have decided not to go into specific titles here, I would highly recommended looking around at reviews before you go ahead and purchase them. I have read some ridiculously out of date books before now, which seem to add to the stigma and distress I felt at the beginning of my diagnosis. I would recommend books which tell it to you in terms which are both easy to understand but also explain the mechanisms behind why this is happening to you. One of my favourites was Borderline Personality Disorder for Dummies. It was clear, up to date and explained to me what the hell was actually going on in my head.

2. Medication is a minefield.. and then there's the NHS.

This is a tad UK specific, but then that's all I know; the NHS are not good at prescribing medication to help you with BPD symptoms. According to the NICE guidelines for BPD medication cannot be prescribed for the symptoms of BPD but only for other co-morbid disorders (such as depression, etc). Firstly, you have to be a very strong willed person to be able to stand up for your own right to say that you're not dealing well with your medications and that you are having side effects. Secondly, you have to fight very hard to be able to convince your GP/Psychiatrist that you are capable of understanding medications and are willing to try them without expecting a miracle. It took me a good 18 months to be allowed to try anything other than SSRI medications. I am now on a tricyclic anti-depressant called Lofepramine which has helped both with my depression and anger. However, I believe that more people should be allowed the freedom to at least try other groups - I, in all honesty, am lucky enough to have a very understanding and well-educated GP.

3. No-one knows what BPD actually is.

One of my biggest bug-bears since being diagnosed with this disorder is the lack of general knowledge about it within the medical and mental health community. I have been referred to a few charities, some of whom didn't know what I had (one of which declared "didn't think I had it"). I have seen many doctors who haven't a clue it exists, and I've seen a lot of 'mental health awareness campaigns' with no mention of BPD in sight. Although figures show that BPD is just as prevalent in the population as Bipolar Disorder, it is far more publicised. One of my aims is to try and work towards changing this, sometime in the near future.

I think the main thing to take from being diagnosed is that you're going to make mistakes, you're going to have to fight but ultimately it's going to be worth it.

If nothing else in these last 2 years I have learnt that progress can be made and my life and voice are worth fighting for, so that's what I'm going to do.

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad to have found your blog. It seems most of the ones here about BPD aren't being updated. BPD is something very close to my heart and I'm trying my best to understand it. You're right about having to stand up and tell the health care providers what they should already know. Anyway, I hope to see you updating again soon... I wish you luck and strength.

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